Every so often, I catch myself actually living my life. Among the daily commute, the hours in front of the computer, heating up my dinner, driving home in the darkness, going to bed, there are moments every so often where I realize there's more than just that. They don't happen every day. They're not even inspired by much. A scene from a movie I've experienced before; a passage from a book I could have written; a conversation between strangers that materializes in tangible form; a touch that sends me back to a former self. They're often fleeting but they hit me hard, as though they're afraid I'll miss them if they don't. There are so many things that clog up our day they barely have room to move, room to breathe. We wander thoughtlessly through this forest of trees and rocks that we have to get over, get past, get through, that we don't notice the rest of nature just shining down on us. We instinctively head for the shade where it's cool, where it's safe.
But there are those times where, even standing in the shade, we catch a glimpse of a mountain lion running in the distance. Out of the corner of our eye a multi-colored bird soars over our head. We watch the setting sun as it paints the sky different hues of red. And we realize, in that moment, that we are here.
But the sky becomes dark, and if we don't pay attention, the moon and stars only light our way home to end the day in preparation for the next one. Another commute, another dinner, another work day. And the cycle repeats as others join us in the forest, sometimes helping to brush away the branches and point out obstacles. We walk along with them and converse with them and identify with them, and they in turn add to our existence. But only a precious few enrich that existence and we have to constantly be aware of their presence. Because they, just like the sun, are sometimes shining, sometimes setting, sometimes pushing you toward the shade. And if you're not careful, you may just miss the picture they paint for you at the end of each day.
And isn't that what it's all about? We're given eyes and ears and arms and legs and what do we do with them? We use them to read reports, listen in meetings, type up letters, and walk down to the cafeteria. Only once in a while do we stop to watch the clouds drift by, listen to the birds sing, throw our hands up to catch the rain, and run like children to feel the breeze.
It may seem at times like your life is not your own. Everyone has responsibilities such as school or work that are necessary just to get by on a daily basis. But there are times when you can just stop, and no matter where you are or what you're doing, you realize that you are actually living your life. And that is always a good thing.
